hunt the hunger

it's selfish not to

sometimes I think I want the things I want too deeply.

a yearning so unavoidable, it feels like it’s drilling a hole at the core of me.

an aching so profound I could follow it like a compass across the world.

it’s not that I take life too seriously - I work on that - but maybe I take my path too personally.

is it just an unquenchable desire? never to subside, never to be appeased, never to find it’s solution for satisfaction. trained by our culture and society to always want more more more.

I don’t like to think that’s the case.

yes, my dreams and desires will continue to grow, evolve, move forward just outside of my grasp.

and yet, I like to believe I am satisfied by my purpose. I am content with my power.

I only want to claim, reclaim, connect with, reconnect with my purpose, power, path.

I don’t need more, I just need what is mine.

mine mine mine - that right there is what has held me back.

because who am I to want.

who am I to focus on what I believe to be mine. to prioritise my path, my power.

selfish, spoiled, privileged, dramatic, attention seeking, greedy, naive, self centred…

and so I’ve tried to avoid it - numb from the ache, belittle the desire, ignore the pull.

the hole only drills deeper, swallowing me whole.

what I’ve learned, what I am learning to accept - is that to claim the yearning is to honour the universe.

to unashamedly choose the depths of my desire, unrelentingly chase the path to my power, to hunt the hunger, to follow the ache like a compass… is to honour the way I have been woven into the world.

when I own and reclaim my path, when I reconnect to my power, when I prioritise my purpose - I am playing my part in everyone else doing the same.

you want so deeply because you are meant to. the yearning is so painful because it needs to get your attention. the ache is unyielding because it is trying to direct you.

choose it choose it choose it.

don’t let the delicate, intricate, one of a kind way you have been woven into the tapestry unravel.

let yourself want. let yourself feel the ache. devote yourself to going after it.

maybe that’s the whole point.

we need you.